How to Define Your Day


Today’s lesson: Don’t define your day by your work performance or the amount of things you accomplished – define it by who you chose to be and how you treated others.

What a craaaazy couple of daaaays.

It’s wild how we can feel so in control and on top of things one day and completely, utterly fucked the next… even when nothing has changed.

My pile of to-do’s are the exact same size today as they were yesterday. I suppose that now, though, having spent all day diligently toiling through a pile of client projects, I understand how long the rest of the pile is going to take me…


I am, at least, super grateful for the work. As a freelancer just 2 short years into this line of work, it’s becoming all too clear that this is a feast or famine field. Coming off almost 3 full months of famine, it feels excellent to be busy again.

Never thought I’d say that!

Plus, the sun is coming out. Not today, but eventually. The trees are blossoming, so at least SOME parts of this state know how to do their springtime jobs (looking at you, sun).

Today, I’m struck by the phenomenon of feeling so capable and energized in the morning – ready to take the bull by the balls and show this world what I’m made of – only to fall flat in the afternoon.

Yesterday was stellar. I was on my game, my writing was white hot, and I received some kickass client feedback on a conference call. GO ME!

Today was a different story… after making the decision to take a (semi-calculated) risk and go rogue on a writing project, I discovered that my client was a fan of going off-script. (OOPS).

The issue was fixable, but my ego took a bit longer to nurse. I felt, quite frankly, like a shit head.

Which, let’s be honest, isn’t a fun way to feel. We all want to feel like we’re doing something that matters, that we enjoy and that we’re fucking GOOD at.

Today, I do NOT feel good at writing.

But I DO feel good at being a human.

So far, I successfully practiced patience with my kids and communicated effectively with my husband about coordinating errands and preschool drop-off.

I tried my best to bring a laugh to the ladies at the gym and in the doctor’s office waiting room, and I took a bit of time to chat with a friend who needed a boost.

I’m learning… at a snail’s pace… that it isn’t always the best idea to define your day (or your life) by how well you performed at work. Because truly, the quality of your performance is highly subjective and oscillates based on variables over which you have little control…

Why give it that much power over your outlook and mood?

Instead, try defining your day – whether it was “good” or “bad” – based on other, more controllable aspects:

Were you kind to those around you, no matter how stressed or frustrated you felt?

Did you love your kids and partner well, even when you didn’t feel like it?

Did you take care of yourself, eating well and stretching your legs every now and again?

Did you at least TRY?

In that case, I say “well done, you.” Time to kick back with some strawberry lemonade kombucha and Modern Family reruns. You’ve earned it.

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