Yes, it’s true: after a months-long hiatus from Instagram, I am back. And I must say, it feels pretty good.
Because this time, I’m doing it right. For me, that means:
- Not incessantly checking my phone for an updated “like” and “follow” status
- Posting honest-to-God content that is authentic and real, rather than mainly aimed at boosting my following (not like I ever really did a great job of that, anyways)
- Making the main goals to share my life with friends and family (a two-way street which also involves ME keeping up on THEM) and capture the things I want to remember
Let’s be honest, I got a little caught up in the Social Media Mayhem for awhile. Who knows whether it was our Central American travels or a sudden increase in readership on my blog, I felt invincible. And it’s a great feeling… but when you’re riding high with your head in the clouds, the inevitable trip back to earth is long and especially hard.
When you feel like you’re owed some sort of attention and notoriety, it’s particularly difficult to come to terms with your own normalcy.
But hey, we’re all busy learning lessons. This season, mine was to embrace the regular, the routine – what I would’ve, in the past, deemed as “boring old suburban, raising kids shit.” You know what I discovered? It’s not that bad. There’s a lot of richness and depth in just following through on the day-to-day practice of simply living life. Along the ho-hum spectrum of everyday ups and downs, there is still excitement. There are still surprises. There is an immense amount of God’s goodness, for which I’m increasingly thankful.
As it turns out, when chasing after the mirage of instant fame turns up nothing but dust and sand… when you’re forced to sit in your discomfort long enough to get bored and disgruntled… you learn to mine for the gold that’s right in front of you. And there’s a lot more of it than I thought.
My husband keeps telling me, “we may not be rich in money (by Kylie Jenner standards), but we’re rich in love and relationships.” After losing friends and facing up to his own mortality in a war-torn country, he’s always been a bit more enlightened in his approach to life. I suppose now, I’m finally coming around to see things the same way.
I realize these are all stones of timeless wisdom folks before me have already overturned. But wisdom is really just a buncha empty words until your heart is permeable enough to allow them entry. Suddenly, those cracks and broken pieces long missing – remnants of failures, heartbreaks, and deep disappointment – start to make sense: they are the only openings where love and truth can get in.
We all know I will most likely need to learn and re-learn this particular lesson time and again. I’m only human. What else are we here for, besides to remind this chaotic, hot mess of a world what actual love looks like and to keep falling toward the finish line? But right now, today, in this moment, my heart feels extremely full in the wake of the mysterious awesomeness recklessly alive amidst the brutally mundane. So, I’m sharing that on Instagram.
And, if you’re so inclined, I’d love to have you join me there: search @lo.writer