Vagina Wars

I’ve been at war with my vagina for about three decades. It’s unfortunate, feeling this way about such a powerful, awe-inspiring organ – one around which I shape most of my identity. The truth is, I’m not that stoked to be a woman. A lot of the time, it’s a huge drag. At 33, I…

What I Learned From Quitting Facebook

A word about self-confidence from the girl who (almost) shit her pants in 10th grade.  At 16, I came thiiiiiis close to being the first girl at Trinity Christian to crap her pants in the hallway. It had to have happened before… and it probably happened after I graduated… but, to my utter shock and…

Poop Culture

Stop holding in farts, dear. You look like a blowfish. I’ve always been frustrated with the state of poop culture in America. In my early years, I always pottied with the door open. As an only child – a “single kid,” as my husband likes to say – of parents who insisted on living in…

Prude Fashion

Giving boys ideas is satan’s work. Dressing myself has never been my strong suit (pun intended). Without a sibling to mock and cajole me into leveling up my fashion game, I was pretty lost. Which is, of course, why I had two children – so that they never have to suffer my same fate. At…