Vagina Wars

[sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]I’ve been at war with my vagina for about three decades. It’s unfortunate, feeling this way about such a powerful, awe-inspiring organ – one around which I shape most of my identity. The truth is, I’m not that stoked to be a woman. A lot of the time, it’s a huge drag. At…

To the Next Generation: Don’t Make Work Your Calling

[sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]I grew up with two hard-working parents who weren’t totally happy with their jobs. In fact, a lot of the time, they were walking tumbleweeds of worry and frustration. This led me to the (quite logical) conclusion that MY job should ALWAYS be enjoyable – and that the only way to accomplish this…

What I Learned From Quitting Facebook

A word about self-confidence from the girl who (almost) shit her pants in 10th grade.  [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]At 16, I came thiiiiiis close to being the first girl at Trinity Christian to crap her pants in the hallway. It had to have happened before… and it probably happened after I graduated… but, to my utter…

How to Un-Friend IRL

Ghosting is so 2018. [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]Remember middle school? You’d start the year sitting with Jemima (or Betsy or whomever) at lunch, proudly declaring your friendship to the world with those glittery “best friend” heart necklaces from Claire’s. You’d plan sleepovers so you could choreograph fake music videos to Spice Girls and No Doubt while…

Poop Culture

Stop holding in farts, dear. You look like a blowfish. [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]I’ve always been frustrated with the state of poop culture in America. In my early years, I always pottied with the door open. As an only child – a “single kid,” as my husband likes to say – of parents who insisted on…

Prude Fashion

Giving boys ideas is satan’s work. [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]Dressing myself has never been my strong suit (pun intended). Without a sibling to mock and cajole me into leveling up my fashion game, I was pretty lost. Which is, of course, why I had two children – so that they never have to suffer my same…

The Things That Come Between Us

[sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]Change is a funny thing. It’s hard to get used to, even when it’s beneficial. Maybe the problem is that you never know if the change you’re facing is going to be 100% beneficial while you’re going through it. But change is a catalyst that keeps us alive, helps us find purpose and…

Sometimes, I’d rather just move.

No, it won’t all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good. – John Mayer Sometimes, I’d rather just move.  [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]It’s so messy, this business of relating to actual people. Instead of hanging in there, sticking it out, making apologies for my shortcomings (which are so very…

300 years ago, I’d be dead already.

“It interests me that, despite those who preceded us here, despite everything we’ve managed in science, we haven’t got a shred of information or understanding about what happens next.” – Norman Lear, creator of All in the Family and The Jeffersons (As told to Catherine Bradford and Gina Pell of TheWhatList.com) 300 years ago, I’d be…

The one where I cry in the Trader Joe’s parking lot.

[sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]DUDE. Welcome to Tuesday. Hope yours is going smashing-ly. For me, this was day TWO of slugging it out with some pretty horrific fear demons – a collective term for all of those terrifying thoughts like you’re never going to make it… you’re a shit writer… nobody cares what you have to say… you’re…

Don’t bring me flowers, I’ll buy my own (or, how fart-scented flowers and Lucille Ball completely altered my perspective).

Short on time? Listen on-the-go: Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.  -Lucille Ball [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]Last night, I received a text from one of my ride-or-die besties: I feel like the flowers I got this time smell like farts (crying…

Pretty (Incredible) Things: Start Your Thanksgiving Week Slacking NOW.

I’ve got a poppin’ fresh post all queued up to drop here on the show… but, let’s get real, nobody is looking for life lessons this week. [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]Thanksgiving is, traditionally, a week where nothing gets accomplished. We’re simply too damned excited about the food and festivities to come! So, in the spirit of…