Spitting Mad

She remained glued to the bench, daring the Yeller to approach – almost hungry for an altercation. “Bring it on, bitch,” she thought…

Mighty (in) Flip-Flops

But she also knew that Mother Nature isn’t always kind to humans too brash to acknowledge her unrelenting laws, like basic physics. And gravity.

Far Too Many Fux

Awhile back (we’re talking last summer, y’all), I had the distinct pleasure of reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I say it was a pleasure because I have a life-long habit of giving LOTS of f*cks about LOTS of things… making it extremely refreshing to imagine another way of being- one with…

Playground Misperceptions: The Tale of Bucket-Hole Boy

She’d been watching them play side-by-side, though decidedly not together, darting in and out of the water sprays. She noticed, too, the hole at the bottom of the boy’s bucket, leaking water in a neat, dime-sized stream. She continued looking on as the boy caught sight of the hole, his mental wheels conspicuously turning as…

Friend Finder

I gotta hand it to my mom. Even though I mailed her Mother’s Day gift late, single her out fairly frequently on this blog and moved 1,688 miles from my hometown, she still sends me interesting articles. This week’s was no disappointment. With a crazy-ass name like “A 75-Year Study Said This Is the #1…

Zombeez

My mind has been consumed lately by zombies. Not literally (obviously). But I find myself wondering, in various situations and locations throughout my day… … what would I do if zombies attacked right now? I’m on the trampoline jumping with my kids trying to ascertain whether or not I’m strong and agile enough to yank…

How to Define Your Day

Today’s lesson: Don’t define your day by your work performance or the amount of things you accomplished – define it by who you chose to be and how you treated others. What a craaaazy couple of daaaays. It’s wild how we can feel so in control and on top of things one day and completely,…

You Update Your Facebook Status (I’ll Just Be Over Here Drinking)

This past Monday, if you were one of those ambitious characters who enjoy making the rest of us feel like lazy shits by bike riding through our hilly-AF neighborhood, you’d have been justly curb-stomped by the “refreshingly” cold wind in your face. You also would have been treated to the sight of a woman lounging…

Star Treatment

In a sea of petty bitches + trick-ass ho’s, I was a real show pony.  [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]I got a taste for fame at a young age. At a mere 9 years old, I was hand-picked to play the lead role in my local acting camp’s rendition of “Peter Pan.” I was kind of a…

How to Un-Friend IRL

Ghosting is so 2018. [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]Remember middle school? You’d start the year sitting with Jemima (or Betsy or whomever) at lunch, proudly declaring your friendship to the world with those glittery “best friend” heart necklaces from Claire’s. You’d plan sleepovers so you could choreograph fake music videos to Spice Girls and No Doubt while…