Can I Tell You This?

How could she possibly be expected to hear these things and NOT feel some sense of righteous indignation? Her firstborn had been immersed in the world of Stephen King. Fuck neutrality, this was war – and she’d already chosen her side.

From Another Country

Was this it? The moment somebody would call CPS on her horrific mothering decisions? WAS it a bad decision? She couldn’t be sure.

In the Dark

Middle school science never prepared me for managing a 5-year old in existential crisis.

Playground Misperceptions: The Tale of Bucket-Hole Boy

She’d been watching them play side-by-side, though decidedly not together, darting in and out of the water sprays. She noticed, too, the hole at the bottom of the boy’s bucket, leaking water in a neat, dime-sized stream. She continued looking on as the boy caught sight of the hole, his mental wheels conspicuously turning as…

Zombeez

My mind has been consumed lately by zombies. Not literally (obviously). But I find myself wondering, in various situations and locations throughout my day… … what would I do if zombies attacked right now? I’m on the trampoline jumping with my kids trying to ascertain whether or not I’m strong and agile enough to yank…

Number Nine

Today was my 9th wedding anniversary. Nobody remembered. Not even me and Nick. Which was awesome! Because it means we’ve been together long enough that another year going by isn’t all that big of a deal. Ever since I got married, I’ve been looking forward to this stage of our relationship. I guess I felt…

How to Define Your Day

Today’s lesson: Don’t define your day by your work performance or the amount of things you accomplished – define it by who you chose to be and how you treated others. What a craaaazy couple of daaaays. It’s wild how we can feel so in control and on top of things one day and completely,…

You Update Your Facebook Status (I’ll Just Be Over Here Drinking)

This past Monday, if you were one of those ambitious characters who enjoy making the rest of us feel like lazy shits by bike riding through our hilly-AF neighborhood, you’d have been justly curb-stomped by the “refreshingly” cold wind in your face. You also would have been treated to the sight of a woman lounging…

Star Treatment

In a sea of petty bitches + trick-ass ho’s, I was a real show pony.  [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]I got a taste for fame at a young age. At a mere 9 years old, I was hand-picked to play the lead role in my local acting camp’s rendition of “Peter Pan.” I was kind of a…

Love Before the Internet

Reality refused to meet my sky-high expectations. So, I lowered them. [sg_popup id=”1403″ event=”inherit”][/sg_popup]I was born a hopeless romantic. Due to my life circumstance and trajectory, I was — for good or ill — enabled to stay that way much longer than most kids are these days, what with “sexting” and porn and the Internet….

TBD

A brief interlude in the “Self-Annoyed: Solo-preneurship Done Write” series… because when we aren’t working, we’re living (and life has some pretty big curve balls of its own). Suggested soundtrack for reading: “There is So Much More” by Brett Dennen.  Everyone said we wouldn’t make it. Well, okay, not everyone. But I couldn’t resist an…